Collars... Big Deal

With the growing numbers of people getting involved in the lifestyle, both online and off, what has once been an important symbol of a relationship is now almost nothing more than a fashion trend.  The collar worn by the submissive represented his or her belonging to another person, like the wedding band worn between married couples.  But today when I see a person wearing a collar,  I don't know whether they have an owner or if it's something they thought would augment their favorite outfit.  In addition to this,  many people calling themselves dominants are slapping collars on anyone that will wear one.  The relationship lasting only a week or two and then off the collar comes and on to the next person that comes along.  It seems like some are shooting for the all time high record of submissives they have collared in a month or week for that matter.

To add to confusion to the mix suddenly there are now a variety of collars available for the submissive to choose from as well.  For example... we have the collar of protection.. collar of consideration,  trial period collar, pending collar, and a few others to boot.  What I am waiting for is the collar called the "I only get played with on the weekends collar".  I know that this may not be humorous to some,  but I believe that collars have become almost a joke in the d/s bdsm community.  But try and follow through with this writing if you can.  Now the most common collars used apparently are the collar of protection, consideration and ownership.  When I hear the collar of protection mentioned I get a vision of this collar that emits this magical force field that will protect all who wear it.  It's apparent use is meant to protect the submissive from being approached by a bunch of dominants allowing the submissive to take their time in selecting the right dominant for them.  This collar was most likely conceived of by a dominant with ulterior motives.  I mean think about...   the submissive says... all these dominants trying to get me to serve them and then this one dominant comes along.. well why don't you wear my collar of protection, this way the other dominants will leave you alone and I will protect you.  Great door opener don't yah think.. now the submissive bound to this dominant in a sense and he or she can then take their time to manipulate the submissive to their desires.  Now I am not saying all do this.. but if someone offers you a collar of protection.. think carefully.  Submissive does not mean weak, inferior and or fragile. Submissives are not some little china doll that will break.  They are human beings like anyone else capable of saying yes and no as easily as anyone else.   Try saying no or I am not interested before running to a dominant for collar of protection.  If a person won't leave you alone, expose them.  Others will come to your aid.  Better to be protected by a group than one person, I think.  Now comes the collar of consideration, this collar believed to have had it's origins in the Old Guard but in fact doesn't, is meant to be worn by the submissive being considered for ownership by the dominant.  When I think about the collar of consideration, I get the vision of a dominant and submissive shopping for a collar.. gee we can consider this one...   What if the submissive is considering a dominant, what does the dominant wear..  the chaps of consideration.. I can see it now.   Before you start considering ownership and a collar spend enough time getting to know each other and be sure that a relationship is right for you.   You don't need a collar to do that, you need patience and time to get to know each other and to consider whether the relationship is right for you.

The only collar I will ever use or accept is one of ownership.   And that won't come quickly or easily.  Relationships take time to build, and I've learned not to be in a hurry.  But when the time is right the collar will be right.  Again I am not trying to tell you how to live your lifestyle only what works and doesn't work for me.  The collar is merely a symbol of the relationship, it is not the relationship itself.  You can be in a master/mistress slave relationship with no collar at all, because it's not what's locked around a person's neck, but the bond shared between people that matter.