Discipline

Barbara Tuchman an American writer, noted for her popular histories and praised for her lucid style and narrative power, wrote; "Reasonable orders are easy enough to obey; it is capricious, bureaucratic or plain idiotic demands that form the habit of discipline."  I completely agree with her statement.  Not all "open minded" lifestylers are flexible and reasonable in their expectations.  In fact some find themselves on such a power trip they forget what planet their on.  There is a time for rigidity and a time for flexibility, but when are those times, does anyone know.  Well if you are a dominant with a submissive you damn sure had better know.

I believe that there is need for structure within a relationship based on dominance and submission and a need for discipline.  However I don't believe that the goal of the dominant should be to set the submissive up to fail so that the dominant has a reason to discipline them.  There is a big difference between setting up a scene for bdsm play that includes corporal based or "discipline" related punishment, (i.e.; canings, paddling, spanking etc.) and providing a day to day structure that would cause the submissive to fail in their duties or tasks.  One of the dominants responsibilities is to promote a positive self esteem and to aid in building or maintaining self confidence within their submissive/slave which of course promotes growth.   A submissive who is constantly failing and needing discipline will eventual begin to question their abilities and worth.  Now I will add that there are times where a submissive is given a task that may be to difficult for them, but the task is not designed to promote failure but perhaps a learning experience in which over time the submissive will be able to achieve.  And these types of tasks are good things.    Discipline should begin with positive re-enforcement not necessarily with pain and as with all things the discipline chosen should fit the "crime" so to speak.

Play is play.. discipline is dangerous...  If not used properly it can undermine and end relationships.  So take heed as you apply any form of discipline.  It's my belief that if you discipline a submissive/slave unjustly, then it becomes an act of abuse, the abuse of a dominant's authority and the abuse of the submissive's self esteem.