The Journey

As it is with anything worth while, there is a journey we take, to achieve a goal, level of learning or a promotion within a job.  The journey is all that exists with us, influences us, guides us or misguides us,  that we must contend with.  The day to day and perhaps even second to second timing of events which catapult us ahead even though on some of those occasions we feel as if we have gone backwards from what we are trying to achieve.  In the lifestyle of d/s or bdsm, there too is a journey...  these journeys are periods of growth and learning, the achievement of a better understanding of and within ourselves.  And these things are important.  I find that what I once viewed as failures and obstacles are actually the building blocks for success, for growth, and to strengthen me, preparing me for the unknown that awaits ahead.

BDSM is probably the most forceful source of ideology and self awareness I have ever come to know.  Take the new person that steps into the dungeon scene for the first time.  That first breath they take.. the first smell they inhale, the first touch they feel, the visions that embrace the mind as they witness a scene the first time.  How many new people has anyone ever seen say okay tie me up and beat me with all you got.  I don't believe I have ever seen it happen.  But it is the beginning of a journey.  The first play.. some light bondage.. then onto something heavier and tighter.  The first flogging.. done with light deer skin, then on to the heavy hides and then single tails or the first clothespin that leads to clamps and weights.  And so on,  as I said a journey.  I spoke to some friends of mine, She and her slave were playing with knives,  knife play was a big fear of the slave but she was willing to try it.. there was a cut, the slave safe worded and that was that.  Until a couple months later, I believe she said when they tried it again and now the slave loves the feel of the knife cutting her flesh.  I watched at a small play party the slaves eyes roll back with delight as her Mistress slowly drew the blade down the length of her arm.  So truly it is a journey and sometimes the journey needs to slow and allow the traveler time to process all the events and sensations good or bad in order to continue.  But none the less it is an exquisite journey and one I can't see myself not taking.

Relationships are also a journey.  And with any journey if you don't take your time and experience everything as you go, you may miss a path that you should have taken.  We all grow at different levels, achieve our goals at different speeds, in this journey we have to acknowledge that and adapt.   Open minded does not mean open for anything.  We forget that sometimes.  So in our relationship we need to give care to our partners needs and desires as we expect them to do for us.  Even if their need or desire is not something we personally can gratify.  For example...  If a submissive is wanting to travel deeper in areas of pain, but the dominant is not into giving pain, then if the dominant values his or her submissive and respects his or her desires for growth, the dominant will make the opportunity available for the submissive.  If we impede a persons journey, eventually that person's need to explore will out weight that persons need for their significant other.  So care must be given.  Allot of this can be avoided by making sure that when you get together with someone that they share the same needs and goals within a relationship.  But there will be those times when needs and goals change and differ from the partners so here is where both have to adapt.

Life has never been easy, it has always been filled with challenges.  And so is the journey, for it is life, living, being.. existing, learning, and growth. And as I once wrote I write again.. Time carries no favoritism for you and I. Time only allows us to grow within ourselves if that is our choice. If we make use of Time wisely there will be no regrets, but when our Time ends and there has been no growth then our only regret becomes living.  Make sure you take time to enjoy your journey.