The Master, Mistress And What Ever Your Preferred Title Is!
Before I begin this topic, I wanted to give my readers the opportunity to read the definitions below. I believe that this will help you as you continue into my philosophy of the person called master or mistress. These definitions come from Webster's unabashed dictionary.
Master
1. A male person having another living being so far subject to his will, that he can, in the main, control his or its actions; -- formerly used with much more extensive application than now. (a) The employer of a servant. (b) The owner of a slave. (c) The person to whom an apprentice is articled. (d) A sovereign, prince, or feudal noble; a chief, or one exercising similar authority. (e) The head of a household. (f) The male head of a school or college. (g) A male teacher. (h) The director of a number of persons performing a ceremony or sharing a feast. (i) The owner of a docile brute, -- especially a dog or horse. (j) The controller of a familiar spirit or other supernatural being. 2. One who uses, or controls at will, anything inanimate; as, to be master of one's time. 3. One who has attained great skill in the use or application of anything; as, a master of oratorical art. 4. A title given by courtesy, now commonly pronounced m[i^]ster, except when given to boys; -- sometimes written Mister, but usually abbreviated to Mr. 5. A young gentleman; a lad, or small boy. 6. (Naut.) The commander of a merchant vessel; -- usually called captain. Also, a commissioned officer in the navy ranking next above ensign and below lieutenant; formerly, an officer on a man-of-war who had immediate charge, under the commander, of sailing the vessel. 7. A person holding an office of authority among the Freemasons, esp. the presiding officer; also, a person holding a similar office in other civic societies.
Mistress
1. A woman having power, authority, or ownership; a woman who exercises authority, is chief, etc.; the female head of a family, a school, etc. The late queen's gentlewoman! a knight's daughter! To be her mistress' mistress! --Shak. 2. A woman well skilled in anything, or having the mastery over it. 3. A woman regarded with love and devotion; she who has command over one's heart; a beloved object; a sweetheart. 4. A woman filling the place, but without the rights, of a wife; a concubine; a loose woman with whom one consorts habitually. 5. A title of courtesy formerly prefixed to the name of a woman, married or unmarried, but now superseded by the contracted forms, Mrs., for a married, and Miss, for an unmarried, woman. 6. A married woman; a wife.
The following quote from Thomas Szasz speaks volumes in regards to our identity.
"We often speak of love when we really should be speaking of the drive to dominate or to master, so as to confirm ourselves as active agents, in control of our own destinies and worthy of respect from others."
This is an interesting quote and one I still am contemplating. It's meaning is much deeper than the face value of the words. I often wonder if, in traveling the road to "mastery" that, many of us take this road only to confirm to ourselves that we exist.. we are, and there for we must. In the text of this article, the use of the term master also includes mistress and any other title used to or implied to describe the dominant in a relationship. Who is a master? What is a master? If we were to go by Webster's dictionary, it does say a person who owns slaves, head of a household, but it also refers to some one who has achieved a great level of skill in a particular trade such as a master plumber. This person knows just about everything there is to know about plumbing. If I applied the mastery of skill version to owning a slave or having a slave, who if anyone of us are a master. Can that ever really be achieved in our lifetime? No, of course not and so lets be humble, a master is a person who does not know everything, a master is not a god, a master is not the next best thing to sliced bread. Master is a title a human being adorns like a crown for all to see. And as a human being, they are not perfect, they make mistakes like any other human being. How can I say this, well for one it's true.. but before you get all upset and say I've lost my mind about what a master isn't, allow me to say what I believe a master is.
As I said a master is a human being, male or female, though most females prefer and use mistress, madam or goddess as a title. A master is a person who takes pleasure in domination, who finds that it is through that domination that their best qualities are expressed. A master is a person who understands and accepts the great responsibilities placed upon them from another's submission. A master is a person who is in control of themselves first and knows when to take control and when to give it up. A master is a person who knows how to learn from their mistakes and find growth within them and shares that experience with others to help them not make the same mistakes. A master is a person who has learned not to judge others and accepts them for who they are. A master can be compassionate, caring, loving and the exact opposite when necessary. A person is a master, not because of looks, race, religion, politics or associations, but because they have achieved that level of growth within themselves that allows them to affectively control another giving them both the pleasure of being who they are.
Many people do wear the titles, like master, mistress, god, goddess, lord, king and or queen as a crown automatically expecting others to bow in the grace of their presence. And it is possible that the person who does this may actually have some or a lot of dominant characteristics to their lives. But the title does not make it so, it is by a person's actions and their sincere desire for personal growth that will stand out within the community, not the clothes you wear or the titles you bare. A person does not take their title, they earn it.
I have had the pleasure of both owning slaves and serving as one. And even though I have achieved great levels of skill and knowledge where d/s and bdsm is concerned, I do not present myself as a master in this context. Instead, I allow people to know me and view my actions and growth and decide for themselves. I also am not a switch where relationships are concerned. If I am involved in a relationship, I am either the master in the relationship or the slave in it, I do not switch between roles with the person I am involved with. To me it is sacred to maintain the proper roles between the two. This does not mean that as the master, I would not bottom in a scene to another, just that I would not bottom to the person in my immediate relationship. Likewise if I were the slave in a relationship, I would not top my owner in a scene, but would enjoy the ability to top another in a scene outside the relationship. These are my personal preferences and not necessarily anyone else's. I am a master however, regardless of my role in a relationship, of leather crafting... hence I am "Master Leather Crafter, Stefano Desade or Stefano Desade, Master Leather Crafter" and so I rightfully present myself as such. I have come to a point in my life where I choose not to walk down the sidelines of d/s, meaning being on either the d side or s side, where bdsm is concerned. I walk the middle line, because there is so much to experience and so many pleasures to embrace on either side of that line, why deprive myself.
As with any of my writings, these are my philosophies and not necessarily anyone else's. So please don't be offended, this is not an attempt to tell you how to live your life but, where I am with the lifestyle and how I've chosen to live my life. My beliefs are subject to change with experience.